Why are they so bloody annoying? My life in the last few days has become considerably more stressful due to being constantly tickled in the dark by these Daddy Long Legs (or Crane Flies if you want to be pedantic). This picture shows one of many bodies found in my house (click image to enlarge).
I was annoyed enough about them that I did some research to find out more. This is how the world sees them (collated from various sources):
“Gangly, weak and poor fliers, with a tendency to wobble during flight, and can be caught without much effort.”
Pathetic.
“Very easy to break off their legs even without direct contact.”
Losers.
“Some Crane Flies don’t even eat.”
Stupid.
“Die once they become adults.”
They get called names like lollygaggers, gallinippers, gollywhoppers and doizabizzlers. I call them annoying shits.
Our front door is knackered. The lock’s been dodgy since we bought the house but it finally announced that it was refusing to work for us any longer and retired. This meant that we initially couldn’t close the door. I thought this was particularly unsafe and decided to hammer away at the door until we could close and lock the thing. Know we can’t get out. Bugger.
I keep being stared at by an ugly cat. I just see him lurking around the front of my house or at the bottom of the garden with his big, bloodshot yellow eyes fixed on mine. What does he want?
I saw him last night and took this picture of him (click to enlarge). Wouldn’t you be scared?
Mine is Nick Owen’s. I was doing work experience at the BBC and I saw him buying a card in the BBC shop. When I told him that everyone missed “Good Morning…with Anne and Nick” he looked down and sighed “So do I…so do I”. He hasn’t been right since. Can you beat that for crapness?
“I want to be original, just like everyone else.”
Love frontman Arthur Lee passed away recently and my friends and I were talking about this in the pub:
Me: “How did he die?”
Friend 1: “I don’t know.”
Friend 2: “Well, he seemed fine to me when I saw him 3 years ago.”
We all laughed and then went home.
I’ve finally done it. I proposed to my lovely girlfriend a couple of weeks ago in the Monkey House at Twycross Zoo (no really). I proposed minutes after a Pigeon crapped on us both.
She said yes.
I saw the new Jaguar advert last night. I was half asleep so I don’t even know which car they were trying to flog, but they were telling me it was gorgeous and comparing this stunning looking car to a gorgeous woman saying that ‘gorgeous’ can basically get away with anything.
I may have missed something due to my semi-comatose state but to me they seemed to be saying that it doesn’t matter if the car underperforms in all areas because the car is so gorgeous that nothing else will matter.
For that alone I hope they fail.
…and they were rather good. Must confess to not having their latest album, so I must remember to steal from HMV in the next few days…
Does anyone have a picture of Spiderman crisps? I remember that they were web shaped and tasted of pickled onion. Or did i just dream it?
