I have a flower in my garden that looks abnormal (pictured). I emailed Alan Titchmarsh to get his expert advice. He just sort of shrugged his shoulders (you can tell lot from an email) and said:

“Dunno. Have you tried watering it and stuff?”.

I emailed him back minutes after watering it ‘and stuff’ and told him that nothing had happened, and it still looked a bit brown. He got back to me a few days later and this was his response:

“I’ve spoken to a few of my mates – including Monty Don, but not Charlie Dimmock, because we broke friends – and we all reckon it’s probably dead”.

I wouldn’t have got this vague rubbish from Percy Thrower.

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