Sometimes, when you have a problem, it can seem like you’re all alone with no-one to turn to. Some people find solace in the bottom of a glass, others turn to music. I can’t afford a bottle of Vodka a night so I am going to to turn to the world of Rock n’ Roll. I decided to share my most mundane problems with the pop world as they’ve lived life to the full and have doubtless saved many livesa person from killing themselves. But who do I turn to first? Who can offer insight into my problems when no-one else seems to care?

Bono has single handedly solved all of the problems in the Third World so I can’t think of anyone more qualified to fix my case of depression. I told him that there are days when I get so depressed I just don’t want to get out of bed or face the world. He couldn’t really pin-point the source of my depression, or offer any real solution, but he did suggest that I may be confused over my racial background. Ultimately, his philosophical thoughts didn’t really help. I hope his ideas on how to solve Third World Debt are a little more decisive:

“Some days are dry, some days are leaky, some days come clean, other days are sneaky, some days take less, but most days take more, some slip through your fingers and onto the floor. Some days are slippy, other days sloppy, some days you can’t stand the sight of a puppy, your skin is white but you think you’re a brother, some days are better than others.”
Some Days Are Better Than Others – U2

Thanks for clearing that up Bono.

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There are bad dreams and there are dull dreams. My dream started off plainly enough; I went into my local shop to buy a milkshake. I couldn’t find a bottle of Chocolate flavoured Frijj milkshake anywhere so I did the only rational thing and decided to ask a member of staff. At this point, a man walked into the shop and put on a suit. This was the general manager, late for work. The member of staff tasked with solving my milkshake mystery whispered into the managers ear, and then, with clipboard in hand, the manager visited every shelf, marking off items that weren’t milkshakes.

I waited in front of the till for about an hour (in real-time) when I heard a man crying and screaming that he’d been in there for over 48 hours (he was ‘played’ by the guy who played Milly’s boss in ‘This Life‘). I started to panic, especially when I noticed that the shop had closed about half an hour ago. My nightmare ended when the manager calmy informed me that he couldn’t find any milkshakes, and offered me a jar of coffee as an alternative.

Can anyone think of a duller nightmare than that?

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