Apparently, your neck grows longer as you get older, or you might turn into Iron-Man. Learn some things about life from 5 year olds in this mini-pictoral tutorial.

Popularity: 4%

I now have a lovely new fridge/freezer to keep food at the correct temperature for healthy consumption. I can now fit a bag of peas and 4 Chicken Kievs in the freezer compartment! To celebrate, I had a Chicken Kiev! From the freezer! See the pictures

Popularity: 6%

…Animal Crime Scene. A poor sloth had been killed and ‘the team’ took it upon themselves to find out who commited this violent crime. Unfortunately the killer Margay and Piranha’s were never charged. Probably because they all look the same.

Popularity: 6%

I did some market research the other day in order for a drinks firm to test the idea of producing their drink in a bottle rather than cans. I am not at liberty to say what the drink was, and as you can see from the picture I have disguised the can very cleverly.

Popularity: 5%

“…the car park and the footpath have a huge amount of rubbish and food debris such as a crisp and chocolate wrappers…”

Popularity: 5%

…’Bog Trolls’. They’re those guys who seem to work in most gentlemen’s public lavatories who tempt you to get sprayed with cheap aftershave and buy lollipops with phrases like ‘Freshen up for the p*ssy’ (substitue the * for a vowel and stand well back) and ‘You never know’. In extreme cases they will move away from the sink and stand behind you while you are busy doing business.

The only way I can overcome this problem is by staging my own little ‘dirty protest’. I simply don’t wash my hands and then walk away. I urge you to do the same and claim back our once proud public lavatories.

Popularity: 10%

If you are of a certain vintage, the name Peter Simon will mean something to you. He’s the man who used to fall over ‘gunge’ a lot in Double Dare. The debate that raging through our office is whether he has ever been Ronald McDonald. A colleague of mine wrote to his agent with this dilemma but so far, we are none the wiser. A Google search came up with nothing to suggest that he has ever been that crazy clown, but some are adamant that he has donned the famous red and yellow suit. Do you know?

Popularity: 7%